drink

I love autumn. I am so happy that the air is just a bit crisper, that it's time for pumpkin muffins and spicy flavored coffee, for less time inside and more time spent soaking up the quiet of the moment surrounded by nature and God.

When it begins to show little hints of autumn outside, I instinctively want to get a little quieter in my soul, go more inward, listen more, talk less; take in instead of dole out... the world could probably use a little less of my opinions anyway. It is so hard to find the time to actually go there these days, and my pursuit of quiet must be purposeful or the opportunity will be missed. The change in seasons creates the desire for change in me, and the choice is mine whether or not to follow through.

I have been in such a season of hustle and bustle and urgency over things that just really don't matter much. I have not been able to really create (to rest, to dream, to try) in so long that I think I have forgotten how. But I am feeling the pull, the call to come away and be and do what I was created to do; in the image of my Creator, I was created to create. And I am not fulfilled when I am not doing what I was created to do... and how easily I forget this truth. I don't want to live a flat, stale, one-dimensional life spent in pursuit of comfort and status-quo-middle-class existence, because it becomes just that: existence, not living.

But why is it so hard? Why do I have to be so vigilant to keep the focus? Why do I have to try so hard to stay awake and not fall into the slumber of the mundane, everyday existence? I don't need fireworks, I just want to live and breathe and know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, learning what I'm supposed to be learning, listening instead of glazing over. Time is so short. I just don't want to miss it...