A Picture Share!

The result of a halloween costume gone horribly wrong...

A Picture Share!

I went as scully for our costume party tonite... Wasn't much of a stretch really...Just me in a black suit with an fbi badge!

Patience

We have been in this house for nearly a month now, and I still feel like we haven't moved in. Of course, this place is just a temporary stopping-place, and we will be moving into our more permanent residence in about 6 months, but I just hate the unfinished business of boxes and endless searching for that random item that I haven't needed in 3 years but just happen to need today. I hate boxes! My life has become solely about endless mounds of corrugated madness and everything therein for the past month or so. At home I'm tripping over them, have no place to put them, really don't want to unpack much more because I'm just going to have to pack them back up again very soon. At work, Daddy Warbucks brings trailers full of them, and they stack up and I'm tripping over them there, and just when we have unpacked the last box, he shows up with more. And then Friday night I was at work until 9:00 pm packing up infinite numbers of books into boxes. I am so very sick of cardboard.

But it's okay, really... cardboard has come to mean transition, change, growth and expansion. It's a mirror of my internal self: unpacking certain items, truths, that have been long since forgotten or hidden away, and boxing up or discarding old pieces that no longer have use or relevance. Compartmentalizing certain areas -- "No, I can't get into that box now. There's no place to put all that stuff. There will be time for that later..." -- putting some things on hold knowing that God can take better care of them than I at this point.

I'm trying to be patient with all the unfinished business around and inside of me. I am exactly one-half neat freak and one-half pack rat, depending on the mood I'm in. I like to carry stuff around, but only for so long, and then it starts to drive me nuts and I toss it. So as I'm tripping over things in my house and getting irritated and wanting to do crazy things with the boxes that just don't fit anywhere right now (can I just throw away the box that has my china in it? There's nowhere to put it for the next 6 months! Oh, wait, I like my china.), I'm trying to have patience and not let the neat freak freak out too much, trying to remember that it's just a season, we're in transition, and soon we will have a large place in which to spread out and unpack all that stuff. Maybe not today, and maybe it's okay for stuff to look messy and unkempt... there's a process behind the mess. My neat freak self will just have to let go and live in the process instead of trying to control it.

But come April, I never want to see another box again.

drink

I love autumn. I am so happy that the air is just a bit crisper, that it's time for pumpkin muffins and spicy flavored coffee, for less time inside and more time spent soaking up the quiet of the moment surrounded by nature and God.

When it begins to show little hints of autumn outside, I instinctively want to get a little quieter in my soul, go more inward, listen more, talk less; take in instead of dole out... the world could probably use a little less of my opinions anyway. It is so hard to find the time to actually go there these days, and my pursuit of quiet must be purposeful or the opportunity will be missed. The change in seasons creates the desire for change in me, and the choice is mine whether or not to follow through.

I have been in such a season of hustle and bustle and urgency over things that just really don't matter much. I have not been able to really create (to rest, to dream, to try) in so long that I think I have forgotten how. But I am feeling the pull, the call to come away and be and do what I was created to do; in the image of my Creator, I was created to create. And I am not fulfilled when I am not doing what I was created to do... and how easily I forget this truth. I don't want to live a flat, stale, one-dimensional life spent in pursuit of comfort and status-quo-middle-class existence, because it becomes just that: existence, not living.

But why is it so hard? Why do I have to be so vigilant to keep the focus? Why do I have to try so hard to stay awake and not fall into the slumber of the mundane, everyday existence? I don't need fireworks, I just want to live and breathe and know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, learning what I'm supposed to be learning, listening instead of glazing over. Time is so short. I just don't want to miss it...

Anne Lamott is my hero.

I was snooping around and found this 2003 article on Anne.

I'm even more intrigued in her knowing now that she loves Joyce Meyer.

What a nut! I love her. I want to be like Anne Lamott when I grow up.

Jack?

From annerice.com

NOTES FROM ANNE ON CHRIST THE LORD: Out of Egypt

"Dear Ones --- As many of you know, my new novel will be published in about a month. I've not said very much on this because perhaps there is so much to say. But let me make a few introductory remarks now. Christ the Lord -- Out of Egypt is a novel about Jesus as a child, a boy of seven. And the story is told from his point of view. The research for this book has been endless and thrilling and at times confusing. I'll post more about the research, the sources in all fields, including archaeology, social history of the first century, Jewish history, Jewish law and customs, New Testament studies, etc., as time goes on. An entire bibliography of works consulted would be very simply impossible. -- What I want to say here is this: every effort has been made to make the entire world of this book accurate according to all the records we possess. This is the Jesus who was born in Bethlehem, celebrated by angels, visited by shepherds, and the Magi. This is the Christ of the four gospels in whom I believe. -- In a way, the novel is the story of Christmas told in a new way -- from the point of view of Jesus Himself when he is old enough to start talking seriously about the mysteries surrounding His birth. --- My life has led to this book.

Love, Anne."

(Thanks to Shane for the heads up.)

So, wow. That's amazing. What's even more amazing is that she posted Brian McLaren's review of her new book on her site. That's the weirdest collision of worlds, like, ever.

It's going to be interesting to see how this plays out... Whether it will be a huge "Last Temptation of Christ"/"DaVinci Code" type controversy or if people will actually be open to what the book says. It apparently opens with the apocryphal story of Jesus as a boy killing a playmate just to see if he could resurrect him, so right away it's not based on canonist Scripture and leaves a lot of room for fanciness, but we'll see, now, won't we?

A Picture Share!

At the corn maze..

mom, can i go outside?

can you see me, mom?

fruity monster

I am tired.

Yesterday I worked a 12-hour shift. Not by choice, mind you, but oh well... I guess I made up for the day I was sick last week.

Daddy warbucks came down for the weekly visit, and ended up pulling a gazillion books right at 5:00. Susan and I ended up having to box them all up and get them ready to go, which we finished doing at 8:45. eeejole.

Oh well.

Today we are taking the youth to the Hondo Corn Maze today. Should be fun, although my homebody self is longing to stay here and do all the laundry I have to do. It's become a mountain. I feel like we've just sort of moved in, but not completely, and I hate the unfinished aspect of it all. Of course, I never have enough of a block of time to actually finish any project these days, and it really irritates me. By the time I finally finish getting settled here in this house, we're going to be moving again. I'm trying not to think about it.

I still have yet to think about Halloween. I need to find a costume for myself and for Punkster. He wants to be a cop. That should be easy. I don't know what I'll do. We're having a "We Don't Celebrate Halloween" party for the youth, and then we're going trick-or-treating in David's sister's neighborhood on the 31st. With two opportunities to dress up as something, it should be fun, but I am clueless as to what to do. Maybe I should go as a Compass employee.

Actually, we at the Compass are having a big Narnia day in December right before the movie opens, and we're all going to dress up as Narnia people. I think CJ needs to come back and be Susan Pevensie. CJ is Susan. :) I want to be a Dryad.

See? Narnia is becoming my own personal Star Wars. I can become a total geek and stand in line for a month at the theater in costume! Cool! New hobby!

Oh yeah, I don't have time. I forgot.

Okay. Must go make coffee. Again.

Straight out of the X-files

I just read an article at Salon.com about the soldier of the future, who will be aided by nanotechnology and turned into, in essence, a supersoldier. Whoa...

"Based simply on the projects posted for public consumption, the ISN is busy creating a soldier of the future who will be protected by an impregnable exoskeleton. This 21st century armor will also impart superhuman strength, reflexes and endurance. It will sense its environment with molecular precision and administer chemicals, pharmaceuticals and other potions directly to the human inside based on pre-programmed stimuli or other command and control signals (global satellite phone link to headquarters ... a battle computer in geosynchronous orbit ... HAL?). It kind of makes one long for the old 'mineshaft gap' of the Cold War."

Ugly

This is the beast that tried to attack us on our hike.

Disco

I have found aural heaven, and it is XM.

So I went to Target yesterday to use my birthday money to get more clothes. I actually found pants that fit me, which is unusual because Target pants are made for girls with no hips and I definitely have hips. So I was about to buy said pants when I impulsively stopped by the electronics department. I found a XM Roady2 receiver for $49 and instantly forgot about the pants!

Today I activated my receiver, and when I got home I installed it in my car. I was pretty proud of myself... I ran the wires all by myself, which required running antenna wire under the weather stripping and through the trunk and under the carpet and such. Now I'm all XM'd! There are so many good channels I can't stand it. O, the sheer bliss! O, the ecstasy! I don't have to listen to San Antonio crap radio anymore!!

I met a female FBI agent yesterday. She came in the store. She rekindled my FBI pipe dream... after talking to her, it doesn't sound as impossible as before. Maybe there's still a chance. Maybe I'm stupid, too. That's entirely possible. But I guess I owe it to myself to at least check it out, right? I just want one of those cool FBI flashlights... is that so wrong?

Guess I better get to running again. I'm all out of shape and stuff.

There is absolutely no good TV. I've resorted to watching Sex In The City reruns on WB. We don't have our satellite hooked up yet, so all we get clearly is WB. The only good thing about that is that they are showing Season 1 of 24 on Saturdays, and it's been awesome to watch Season 1 again. There's so much I don't remember! I do remember Kim being stupid, but I had totally forgotten about the other stupid CTU girl who looks like she's wearing a wig.

I need to get a life. Oh yeah, I don't have time.

Ok, must go do dishes now. I've been putting them off. We moved into a house without a dishwasher [sob] and now it sucks to do dishes.

Goodbye, cruel world.

CJ and Jeff, stop fighting over my blog.

:)

I have exactly 10 minutes before I have to get ready for our gig.

We're playing at Fralo's in Leon Springs tonight. I hope my friends make it. That will be fun.

I went hiking today. Got stung by a bee. Ticked off a tarantula. He ran towards me with his butt in the air. All I did was take a picture of him. Geez... Not a good day for nature. Apparently nature was in a bad mood. Didn't get enough coffee or something.

So okay. now I must go shower.

Birthday

My lands, has it really been 6 months since my last post? No wonder people keep calling to poke me with a proverbial stick to see if I'm alive.

I have been in a season of sheer insanity. Working full time retail (I'm now managing the Compass... yikes), of course all the while still trying to maintain a full time job as mom and wife, and then working with the youth at church and attempting to play LJG gigs from time to time. Oh, and in the midst of it all, we've just moved. Just finally got settled (sort of) in Boerne, where we're still tripping over boxes but fully enjoying the life of city dwellers -- first time in 10 years that we've actually had modern conveniences like pizza delivery and a corner store within rock-throwing distance from the house.

And we did away with our phone at home at the old house the last three months we were there. Initially we got rid of it because we were finally able to get DSL, so we no longer needed the land line (we've gone almost exclusively cellular) for anything. And then we found out we had to move, and so I've been without internet for a long, long time.

It's been really great, though... I have spent my (miniscule) free time reading. I have discovered some really amazing books that have revolutionized my world and have thus inspired me to write again. This summer I read "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller, and while I was, as usual, late to the party concerning my discovery of Donald Miller, it came at just the right time.

I just finished Anne Lamott's "Traveling Mercies," and I have decided that I have found my favorite writer in Lamott. Reading her book was like a cool drink of water for me. I was inspired by her journey, her real-ness, her view of God that sometimes makes me wince a little but challenges my formulaic view of Christianity.

That's the road I'm currently on... I think God is breaking down some of the formulas, some of the "pat-ness" of my thinking, not that Truth is any less Truth, but I think that I have been taught to believe in a very small God, one who we have tried to fit in a tidy little box because it's easier for us to manage, and He doesn't fit in a tidy little box at all. I am learning how big and other He is, His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts, and while it blows my mind, it is comforting to let go and to surrender to this huge Other and know that I don't necessarily have to figure Him out. And the beauty of that is that it opens me up to find Him in lots of new places, to not be limited to my usual American conservative right-wing consumer-driven perspective, but to be more open to the fact that He is not limited to my narrowness. There is so much more of Him to find.

I will continue this track later... I have to go to work. I'm 33 today. Wow. Maybe I'll get a muffin.