Cats and waterbeds don't mix.

Okay. So we have this great waterbed... a softside... y'know... the kind that doesn't look like a waterbed. With a really thick pillowtop on top of the water mattress... and also a LOT of bedding. Thick comforter and the like.

So the night of our release party, David wakes up in the middle of the night totally soaked, thinking he's been sleeping a little to heavily and that he had wet the bed. To make matters worse, my parents were in town and he was all embarrassed! And of course, I'm thinking, "Ewwwww!"

The next night David wakes up and is totally wet again. So at 5 AM on Easter morning, as I was rushing around getting ready for this crazy day of church services at very ungodly hours, I pull back the pillowtop and take a look at the water mattress... oh yeah. Big leak. Only I can't seem to find where it's coming from! In my haste to get out the door, I decide I'll mess with it later and put the bed back together. Oh, and David is very relieved (no pun intended) to know that he doesn't have an incontinence problem. Although I'm beginning to feel like I'm living the X-Files episode where Mulder is doomed to relive the same Monday every day... and it always begins with his waterbed leaking....

Later that night, after we get rid of all our family and are ready to totally crash, I remember the leak, and, determined to find it, I disassemble the bed again and start poking and prodding and draining and pushing... for 5 hours. My search relentless, I manage to cover every single inch of that mattress from head to foot, topside and bottom, and still cannot find the leak. So, at 10:30 at night, exhausted from a very busy day, I give up, fill up the bed, and as I'm putting the pillowtop back on, I see water gushing from a small hole in the bottom corner. So obvious! But still a puzzle, as it's nowhere near David.... can't figure out how it managed to saturate his whole side. And we still can't figure out how the hole got there, so by default this new cat of ours gets the blame, because he's the only one with talons that's been anywhere near the bed (even though, mind you, we have a pillowtop and blankets and comforters and such covering it all).

Dumb cat. But let me tell you about this cat. We LOVE him. He showed up on our deck one day, stood up on his hind legs, put his paws on our sliding glass door, and meowed. I, being the sucker for strays, opened the door, and he immediately came in and curled up on the couch, where he has stayed ever since. He is the most codependent, love-obsessed kitty I have ever met. He literally cannot get enough attention. He is one of those rare cats that will drape himself across anything, is comfortable in any position, and will let you do anything to him, as long as he is being loved on in some way. No matter where I am, there he is also. He thrives on attention, needs it constantly, and will let you know if he feels he isn't getting enough... usually by following you around and yelling at you until you pet him. Basically, as he sees it, I exist to pet him. When I lay down on my bed at night, immediately he is on my feet or curled up under my arm ready for his lovin'.

But today.... today, apparently, he is feeling a deep sense of injustice because I made him go outside for the day. When I let him in, I was busy with laundry and with phone calls and such, so Mr. Entitlement didn't get his quota of chin scratches and belly rubs. Around 5:30, I went into my room to fold laundry, had taken the sheets off the bed to wash them, and I noticed a giant wet spot on my side of the bed. My immediate thought was, "ANOTHER LEAK?!!! Dangit!" And then I caught the slightest whiff of a scent I haven't smelled in years, having not had a cat around since I was 18. Yeah. The freakin' cat pee'd on my bed! And I can guaran-darn-tee it that he did it out of spite... mind you it was my side of the bed, and he knows it good and well... and he was mad because I wasn't giving him the proper amout of attention he felt he deserved.

He's banned to the great outdoors for the night.